


Since I've Been Loving You - a Led Zeppelin fanfic (x reader)

by becky3013



Category: Led Zeppelin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28477095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becky3013/pseuds/becky3013
Summary: A Led Zeppelin fanfic written by me! Can be read as one long story or several shorter oneshots - whatever you prefer! I'll always include a short summary at the beginning of each chapter.
Relationships: Jimmy Page/Reader, Robert Plant/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Led Zeppelin or any of the characters! This is a work of fiction and all the events portrayed in this story are purely fictional. They do not reflect on the actual people written about. No libel is intended.

The year was 1970. I remember standing in front of the gig venue from 8am despite the awful January weather. The only things to keep me warm were a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and an oversized denim jacket I got for Christmas. I knew I could get seriously ill, but what could I do? The thrill of seeing my favourite band was too big and I was willing to do anything to stand in the first row and see my musical idols from up close. There weren’t too many other people around – it was a weekday after all, and it was freezing. Only the most dedicated of fans showed up so early.

I checked the time – 9:30 in the morning.

“Great, just 10 more hours,” I sighed and put my hands even deeper into the pockets of my jacket.

At around 11am several other fans arrived. I won’t lie – their clothes seemed much warmer than mine, and I just kept shivering next to the entrance. None of them came to me, and I was too busy trying not to freeze to death to talk to them myself.

By 1:30pm I was feeling incredibly sleepy and was drifting off every now and then from the cold. I wanted to go to a nearby coffee place and get warm so badly, but there was no way I was leaving my spot near the entrance. All the other fans were behind me and were just glaring at me, smoking whatever the fck they had. None of them offered to help me or lend me their jacket for a few minutes. Jerks. I had to deal with it myself – I stood up, did ten jumping jacks, then sat on my spot and drifted off once again.

I was woken up by loud screams and a pair of strong hands shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes to see a huge face of a security guy in front of me. When he noticed I was awake, he smiled at me and said: “Thank God! You gave us a good fright. Thought you might not wake up.” He looked relieved.

The next second I had my right arm around his neck, my left one around the neck of another guy, and they were slowly getting me on my feet.

“Let’s put you on the couch in our office for now, shall we?” the other guy said and helped me into the big entrance doors.

Once in their office, they helped me to sit on the couch, and one of them fetched a blanket from a nearby cabinet and wrapped me in it. I was still a bit confused and way too bewildered to protest.

“You need to get warm again, luv,” the biggest fella said with a warm smile.

Explanation, I needed a proper explanation. How did this happen? Why was I lying in a security office wrapped in their blanket?

“Ehm, excuse me, but could someone tell me what’s going on?” I asked, hoping I’d get what I needed.

“You don’t remember? C’mon, you really don’t remember it?” the smaller guy asked me in disbelief. I frowned at him.

“No, I don’t. What happened?”

He just shook his head. “You sat in front of the entrance for 6 hours, wearing only your denim jacket, and then you fell asleep! We thought you might be dead, your skin was almost blue!”

“Yeah, you were among the first ones to arrive. But it looks like you forgot your warmer clothes at home,” continued the bigger guy with a smirk, but not an unkind one. I guess he was just amused by my stupidity.

“Right,” I nodded despite not knowing what any of that meant for me. I was starting to get hopeful – maybe they’ll let me meet the band out of pity? “And what’s going to happen now?”

The security guys exchanged confused looks. It took them a few seconds to respond to my enquiry.

“To be honest, we have no clue. You’re the first fan to almost freeze to death in front of this place.”

“Maybe the venue manager will be able to tell ya more?”

“Yeah, the manager’s office s right there,” one of them gestured towards a corridor behind big black doors. “She probably won’t be there yet, but her assistant will. Just tell him what’s going on and he’ll sort you out. Third door on the left,” he said, and immediately turned away from me to talk to his colleague. That was them done with me. Fantastic.

I gathered all the courage I could find inside myself and stepped into the corridor. The third door on the left, that’s weird. All the doors were on the right and some of them were half open. I heard some people talking really loudly and then laughing. ‘Is this where the band members are?’ I wondered. I have to admit, it was very tempting to peer into one of them, but which one? There were so many of them! I decided to go one by one, and I went further down the corridor with my ear pressed against the wall, not being aware of my surroundings.

Suddenly, the door further along the corridor opened, almost knocking me off my feet. For the first few seconds, my eyes were unable to focus on the details of the two people who just left the room. I stood there like a rabbit illuminated by the flashlights of a passing car, hearing their voices but not being able to identify any of them. Then my eyes started working properly again, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. Two of my favourite musicians, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, were walking towards me. They were too caught up in their conversation to notice me standing in front of them. But then Jimmy shifted his gaze from Robert to the place where I was standing, quickly followed by Robert. He pierced my soul with his ice-blue eyes, and then gave me one of his beautiful smiles.

“Oh, hello beautiful. How come I haven’t seen you here before?”

I couldn’t stop looking at him – he was so handsome, with his long, untamed hair looking like a waterfall of solid gold. I was admiring all his features and didn’t pay any attention to Jimmy smirking at me.

“The concert… too cold outside… the manager…” I mumbled with a shaky voice. My cheeks were on fire and Robert was still looking at me. I couldn’t bear the embarrassment – I had to look down on my shoes. I could literally see my knees trembling.

“Glad they let you inside and didn’t leave you standing out there on the cold. See you at the gig tonight then, right?” his warm words wrapped around me like a tight embrace. I nodded and looked up for a second, to which he replied with another smile. Then they both walked away and entered a room further down the corridor.

I was left speechless. Did I just make an idiot of myself in front of my two favourite musicians?

***

I can consider myself really lucky. The manager’s assistant was an incredibly kind guy, and when I told him my story (well, the one the security guys told me), he made me a huge cup of hot black tea.

“That’ll get you back on your feet,” he smiled and proceeded to making a cuppa for himself.

“I always make it to the musicians playing here, and the concerts are always extraordinary,” he winked at me.

“But you haven’t had Led Zeppelin here before, have you?” I asked, knowing the answer too well.

“Nah, this is the first time. Quite exciting, eh?”

“Very,” I nodded frantically. Then I gulped loudly, and decided to try my luck.

“And about the band… Do you think it would be possible for me to meet them? You know, I was the first one standing in front of the venue, and I almost froze outside…” I asked hopefully, but his sad look revealed the answer even before he said it out loud.

“I’m afraid not, love. I’d love for you to meet them, but we’re not allowed to do that. Plus they’ve got to rehearse for the gig.”

More like drink and get high, I thought spitefully, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“But there’s one thing I can do for you. Since you were the first fan to arrive, you deserve to get a place in the first row. How about that?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y/N is at a Led Zeppelin concert in 1970. She met Jimmy and Robert backstage several hours before the concert.

It was 7pm and I was standing in the very first row, right in front of the stage. I couldn’t believe it – it felt just like a dream. The other fans were still outside and the security guys were just about to open the doors and let them in. Under normal circumstances I’d be worried that they might hurt me out of jealousy, but I didn’t feel anything close to fear that night. I was bursting with excitement and there was nothing that could change that. Even the furious group of fans that was trying to push me away from my spot were nothing, absolutely nothing compared to my feelings of pure thrill.

The group got on stage by 8pm. When I saw them, my knees gave way and I almost fell off my feet. Robert’s hair was a golden untamed mess, and somehow he was even more gorgeous than before. The soft smile never leaving his lips made me stare at him with my mouth wide open. _Gosh, I could stare at him all day long._ He came to the very front of the stage, grabbed the mic and called: “Good evening!”

His voice was ringing in my ears like sweet melody, but it was quickly replaced by a loud sound of Bonzo’s drums. Their first song was ‘We’re Gonna Groove’, and their energy had immediately filled the whole place. Soon enough everyone was dancing, but no one could compare to Robert and his moves on the stage. Every single head shake, every movement he made was full of passion, full of something out of this world, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Yes, Jimmy was doing incredible things with his guitar, and Jonesy with Bonzo were headbanging to the rhythm they were creating, but there was something… ethereal about Robert.

I spent the evening in ecstasy, singing and dancing to all the tunes I loved so much.

And then it happened – my favourite song came on. I recognised it from the very first tones – it was ‘Since I’ve Been Loving You’! The sound of Jimmy’s guitar was sublime – I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to travel to my dream land, savouring every single tone. I knew the lyrics by heart, so when Robert starting singing, I did as well. I paid no attention to my surroundings – I was living in the moment and had no clue what was going on around me. _So this is what happiness feels like!_ There was nothing in this world that could spoil the moment.

When the next verse started, I heard my voice a bit louder, as if it was amplified. I didn’t understand what was happening, so I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was a microphone right in front of my face, held by a smiling Robert who was squatting on the stage.

My voice started to shake and crack. I couldn’t do it – singing in front of so many people was pure madness! Robert saw me panicking, and encouraged me with his eyes to keep going. I struggled hard, but I somehow finished the song, never breaking eye contact with Robert.

When I finished, he gave me another smile, this time a bit different than before, shook his head, and clapped, followed by the other band members and then whole crowd behind me.

He made a rather quick and rushed end to the gig, and then bend down to me. Our faces were just a few inches from each other. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode.

“I need to hear that voice once again,” he said quietly with a kind smile, just for me to hear. He took my hand into his and helped me onto the stage, and then led me to the backstage. Being young and naïve, I followed him, getting confused looks from other fans and very jealous ones from all the girls in the crowd. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I followed his lead.

As my mind wandered to weird places, Robert was leading me to the corridor where we had met just a few hours before. Yes, I was naïve, but not enough to believe that he remembered me from our previous encounter. Why would he, after all?

Suddenly he opened one of the many door – one with a big yellow sign “Band Members Only!” – and took me inside. He abruptly turned to face me, which revealed a rather hungry look in his eyes. He was still holding my hand, and he was looking me straight in the eyes. I could see he was fighting an inner battle, but unfortunately for me, I couldn’t see whether he was winning or losing.

“Who are you?” he whispered at last, never breaking eye contact. His voice, a bit hoarse from the past two hours spent singing, sent shivers down my spine.

“I-I’m Y/N,” I replied, my voice shaking.

“Sing me a song, Y/N,” he said, gently squeezing my hand.

“Wh-what should I sing?” I stuttered, blushing uncontrollably.

“Anything. I just need to hear your voice again.”

I didn’t know what to do. The best singer on the entire planed wanted _me_ to sing a song to _him_. I thought his request was completely crazy, but I didn’t want to appear rude so I had to quickly think on my feet. The first song I thought of was “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” – Joan Baez’s version from 1962. Gosh, how I loved that song. Of course, my voice was nothing compared to hers, and the song wasn’t exactly appropriate for that occasion, but I had already made my mind up.

“Erm, right… “ I said nervously, and then I started.

“ _Babe, I'm gonna leave you  
Tell you when I'm gonna leave you  
Leave you when ol'summer time,  
Summer comes a-rolling  
Leave you when ol'summer comes along_”

When I finished, I looked up at Robert – his eyes were closed and he was looking rather content. He opened his eyes after a shorter pause and said: “Y/N, that was breath-taking. Absolutely spectacular. That song fits your voice just perfectly.”

I didn’t know what to say. I looked down on my feet, trying to hide my burning cheeks. _That was the kindest thing anyone has ever said about my voice_. I was just about to open my mouth to mumble something in reply, when I heard a loud creak of the entrance doors being opened, and Jimmy walked into the room, interrupting the ‘moment’. His wet hair was falling into his eyes, and he was wearing a smug smile that faded away the second he saw us. Robert let go of my hand and jumped away from me almost instantly.

“Oops, sorry, carry on, I didn’t want to… disturb you,” Jimmy muttered as he looked down and turned around to walk away.

“No Jimmy, wait. We’re not hiding anything,” Robert uttered. Jimmy turned back to us and eyed him rather suspiciously. Everyone went quiet for a few seconds and the situation was becoming more and more awkward. Finally Robert broke the silence.

“Jimmy, this is Y/N. A girl with an extraordinary voice,” he introduced me, causing blood rushing to my cheeks once again. Jimmy smiled at me, then came closer to me outstretched his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Jimmy, but I guess you already know that,” he winked at me.

“Anyway, haven’t we met before? I could’ve sworn I’ve seen you somewhere. I’m sure I wouldn’t forget you,” he gave me a deep look I couldn’t quite understand as he tried to remember the time we met.

“Oh, yeah, you’re the girl we walked into before the concert! The one looking for the manager, right?” Robert exclaimed excitedly.

“You remember me?” I asked Robert in disbelief.

I couldn’t believe that Robert, _that_ Robert Plant remembered meeting silly old me in the corridor before the gig. Even _I_ forgot about it, since the evening was really quite eventful. Why would he remember _me_?

“Of course I do,” he said seriously, and my heart skipped a beat. _I’m pretty sure this is just a dream. This can’t be real._

The door opened once again and this time Jonesy and Bonzo stumbled in.

“Whatcha doing, just standing here? You can chat on the sofa as well,” Jonesy laughed. “And let’s get some drinks!”

They proceeded to the couch, but then I caught Bonzo’s eye.

“Woah, looks like we’ve got a visitor,” Bonzo said, startled, eyeing me up.

And just like that I got to meet the four guys behind Led Zeppelin. Robert introduced me to Bonzo and Jonesy who were a bit sceptical at first about having me in their backstage, but gave in after a few drinks. All five of us talked for some time, and I was enjoying myself like never before.

Jimmy was the first one to leave. He just stood up from the sofa in the middle of a conversation and grabbed his beer.

“Right, I’d better be off. Nice meeting you, Y/N,” he said without really looking at any of us. He was looking a bit sulky, but nobody paid much attention to that. He was probably just exhausted from the gig, which would be totally understandable.

A few minutes after Jimmy left, Jonesy started wriggling in his seat.

“I should probably go too. These singers probably have quite a lot of things to talk about, don’t you think, Bonzo?” he said and nudged the drummer. Now I know it was their secret signal to leave when one of them was chatting up a girl, but I was too stupid and caught up in the moment to realise that back then.

“Yeah, you’re right. Just help me get these bottles and we can go,” said Bonzo, gesturing to the beer and whisky bottles on the table. Jonesy quickly grabbed them and soon they were leaving the room.

“Was lovely to meet you, Y/N! Enjoy the rest of your night!” Jonesy quickly called before the door closed.

I was left alone in the room with Robert, and I felt thousands of butterflies in my stomach. For a few moments none of us said anything, and he was giving me the same look as when we first entered the room. The soft smile was never really leaving his lips.

Suddenly he stood up and walked to a gramophone in the corner of the room. At first I thought he would play one of their records, but I was surprised when I heard a rather quick waltz coming from it. Then he came back to me and outstretched his hand.

“May I?” he asked me softly.

I just nodded in reply, too stunned to say anything, and put my hand in his. He gently took it and led me to the middle of the room which was almost completely empty.

We started dancing to the quick waltz, never breaking eye contact. At first we weren’t very synchronised, but soon his body was guiding mine on the floor, and before we knew it, we were dancing as one. I felt like in a movie, but no, it was real, and the gentle squeeze of my hand reminded me of that. He pulled me even closer, and our noses were practically touching, but that didn’t stop us from dancing.

All good things have to end, and so did this song. After what felt like a lifetime of waltzing, we were standing in the middle of the room in complete silence, our faces within an inch of each other. I could literally feel his breath on my cheeks. His eyes fluttered close and he leaned in closer to me. All of a sudden our lips met in a tender kiss. I didn’t expect that at all. I slowly kissed him back, and our lips moved in perfect harmony. Suddenly it started to change – he was the one to deepen the kiss, pulling me even closer, I was the one to break it.

“I’m rushing it, aren’t I?” he whispered and a soft blush appeared on his cheeks. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“No, it’s just… I need time. We’ve just met.” I couldn’t believe I was doing this.

“I’ll give you as much time as you need. We need to get to know each other better,” he said quietly.

“Exactly,” I breathed out. _Right. This is it. Robert Plant is interested in you and you had to ruin it. You idiot!_

“How about a dinner?” he asked suddenly. His question caught me by surprise – I was pretty sure he was done trying.

“I’m sorry what?” I asked, surprised.

“A dinner. Tomorrow, maybe? It’d be our first official date.”

“That sounds great,” I smiled at him.

“I love to hear that,” he said, gently pressing his nose against min.

Then the next song, a much slower piano tune, started playing. With a deep sigh he rested his head on my shoulder.

“But our time will come, Y/N, I promise,” he muttered before the next dance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert invited Y/N backstage after the gig, and then asked her out on a date.

_I’ve got a date with Robert Plant._

This thought came to my mind at quarter to six. Unsurprisingly, it made me way too nervous and excited to go back to sleep. _What if last night was just a dream? Maybe we’ve never really met…_

Then I noticed a messy writing on my left hand saying “Robert 6:30 L’Ambience”.

Of course, I wrote it when I got home the previous night. For some reason I thought I might forget about the date with the most handsome man in the whole world. At least it served me as evidence that he really _did_ ask me out, and I hadn’t made all that up in my mind.

He suggested a fancy French restaurant called L’Ambience. It was a very posh place and probably the most expensive restaurant in town. None of my friends had ever been there, and neither had I, so I had no clue what to expect. Since I didn’t know where the restaurant was, Robert kindly offered to pick me up at my apartment at 6pm.

“Right, we gotta look fancy tonight, baby!” I told my reflection in the mirror, a smirk appearing on my face.

***

5:55pm. Last splash of perfume, last look into the mirror.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful,” I said to myself, and I meant it. I kept my look simple – loose hairstyle, nude eyeshadows and blush, and baby pink lipstick, and I decided to wear a knee-length pink dress – but the overall result was incredible. I hadn’t had an opportunity to dress up so nicely before, and I had trouble recognising myself in the mirror, but I knew that I had no choice this time. With a stabbing pain in my heart I remembered that Robert could have every single girl on this planet, and my dream could be over in just a second. Moreover, I was starting to realise I really liked Robert, and simply wanted to look nice for him.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, almost causing me heart attack.

“I’m coming!” I yelled with a shaky voice, and looked in the mirror one last time.

I rushed to the doors, and I cracked open them slowly.

There he was, looking like an ancient Greek statue. When he saw my astonished face, he smiled that smile of his and softly called my name.

“Y/N. I’m so happy to see you!” he added.

“Me too!” I giggled behind the door, still not opening it completely.

“Would you mind opening the door for me? I’d love to look at you properly,” he said with a small smirk on his lips.

All the blood rushed to my cheeks – I literally felt them burning.

“O-of course, sorry… I completely forgot…” I mumbled, but he wasn’t paying any attention to my words. He kept eyeing me up like a predator eyes up its prey. He looked rather content, and after a few seconds he spoke again.

“Y/N, you look… incredible,” he said, extending his hand towards me. I gently took it, and he led me out of the door.

“Oh, wait, I gotta get my jacket!” I suddenly remembered and hurried back to get it.

“No need to dress up more for me,” he said teasingly, causing my cheeks to burn even more.

With my jacket on I ran out of the apartment, quickly closing the door behind me, and followed Robert into what I thought was his car. I was surprised when he walked past the car without stopping. I slowed down, thinking he forgot we’re going on a dinner date, and eventually came to a halt. Robert noticed I wasn’t following him, and turned around.

“I thought we might walk to the restaurant. It’s not too far away, and to be honest, I’d quite fancy a nice evening walk. Come,” he said as he extended his hand to me once more.

I hesitated for a bit. After all, my evening shoes were not that comfortable and I didn’t like the thought of having painful blisters on my feet. Moreover, and I didn’t acknowledge that thought back then, I was scared of awkward silences and forced conversations. It’s much easier to hide uncomfortable silence on a dinner – you can always pretend you’re just too busy eating your food. How do you hide it when you’re walking with the person side by side?

I couldn’t really say no though. Robert was looking quite enthusiastic about it, so I just sighed and came closer to take his hand.

It was a beautiful January evening, despite the awful cold. The air was crisp, making our breaths visible, and the moon was illuminating the pavement and Robert’s golden hair.

“Glad I remembered to take my coat,” I giggled quietly. Robert stayed silent for a moment, which made me feel a bit embarrassed. _Gosh, why did I have to say that?_

“It looks really great on you,” he said after a pause. “But I can’t imagine anything that wouldn’t.”

This time it was me who was left speechless. Robert didn’t seem to mind that too much, and so we walked on. From time to time he gently squeezed my hand, barely for me to feel it. We never really looked at each other and we didn’t say much, but to my big surprise, it wasn’t awkward at all. We felt each other’s warm presence, and that was all that mattered.

We arrived at the restaurant at quarter to seven. Robert led me inside like a real gentleman, and I was feeling like a princess. All the eyes were on us – on the handsome and famous singer and his date. When we were finally seated, Robert ordered a bottle of expensive champagne and we started to talk.

He told me about his teenage years and beginnings with Led Zeppelin; I told him about my studies and dream careers. He insisted I tell him about my singing experience, my teachers, and virtually everything, and was very surprised to find out that I did all my singing in the shower or when cleaning up the house.

“That’s pure talent then. You’re a musical prodigy,” he said with a kind smile.

“After all, that’s the only explanation for such angelic voice.”

“Oh, stop it,” I waved my hand as I tried to hide my blushing face.

“No, really, I mean it. I’m not trying to bribe you,” he added with a serious expression on his face.

We talked for hours. Our favourite topic was music – he gave me a list of all the musicians he admired and who inspired him, and I found out we had a pretty similar music taste.

After the dinner, we walked out into the cold air, and Robert grabbed my hand once again. He looked me straight into the eyes as if looking for something.

“Would you like to walk with me back to your place, or would you prefer to get a taxi?” he asked me as he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear.

I didn’t care about my sore feet anymore – I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

“Let’s walk,” I said briefly. He smiled at me in response, and we set off.

“Hold on a second, I need to take my shoes off. They’re so uncomfortable!” I laughed.

I was holding Robert’s hand in one hand, my shoes in the other, and so we walked. We stopped in the park for a bit and we danced under the stars.

When we finally got to my street, we stopped in front of my place. Robert caressed my hair and then leaned in closer to me to kiss me. We kissed gently at first, but then more passionately and deeply, and I didn’t pull away this time.

He was the one to break the kiss, but he didn’t pull away from me.

“Would you like to show me the records you said you had in your apartment?” he breathed against my cheek, sending shivers down my spine.

Even though it was hard for me, I slowly shook my head.

“I’d love to, Robert, but I’ll have to say no now. I really don’t want to disappoint you or anything... But I don’t want this to be a one night thing, you know? This was just our first date. The first of many, I hope,” I mumbled, looking at him, gently playing with his hair. He took my hand and slowly kissed it.

“Neither do I. I’ll wait as long as you want, Y/N. We’ll go on as many dates as you wish. And I’m being serious,” he said, interlocking his fingers with mine.

“When will I see you again?” I asked him, not being able to think of anything else.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to wait until the end of our UK tour,” he whispered sadly.

“It won’t be long, I promise. I’ll come here right after our last gig,” he added, this time more cheerfully.

And with one last kiss and hushed “goodnight”s, we parted company and would not see each other for almost three weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y/N went on a date with Robert. Robert has just returned from their UK tour.

The days had passed very quickly. I won’t lie – the first week was difficult. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I kept wondering whether he felt the same about me. Of course, sometimes my mind wandered to darker places, making me think of all the groupies he could be with, but I always did what I could to push those thoughts to the back of my mind.

Yes, I was falling in love with Robert, but him being away on tour meant that I had three long weeks to forgot about all the feelings I had when I was with him. By the end of the second week I almost forgot about the butterflies in my stomach and the taste of his lips against mine, but the closer it got to the date of his return, the more nervous I felt. I would get snappy all of a sudden, and it was getting more and more difficult for me to stay calm.

All I had to do was to keep myself busy.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I was lying in my bed, reading my favourite book and sipping hot tea. The weekend made my mind a Robert-free space – I was preoccupied with cooking, cleaning up the place and doing all the things I loved so much. I was pretty much enjoying my solitude, and the only thing that was missing was a good music. I stretched and got to my feet to browse through my records.

“Deep Purple… Rolling Stones… The Kinks… nah, nah, nah…” I mumbled under my breath as I was looking at all the records in my room. And then I saw it. Led Zeppelin. I immediately felt a sharp pain in my stomach, as if somebody kicked me, making me feel really sick. I remembered everything I felt when I was with Robert, and the memories from the hours spent together made my heart beat faster. I suddenly had trouble breathing and was gasping for air. I slowly crawled to my bed and lied in it, trying hard to keep the tears at bay.

“I was so naïve!” I cried, shaking under my blanket.

“What on earth did I think? That he’d come to me after a month spent touring and enjoying his time with groupies? And anyway, why am I crying here over a guy I met twice in my life?”

It was an inner battle between my ego that was angry at me, and my romantic soul that was feeling sorry for me. I had no clue how to resolve their fight. The truth was, I knew I was overreacting – it was just the sudden appearance of all the emotions that had almost knocked me down. After all, Robert was just like any other guy, and I wasn’t even sure whether we had any kind of relationship. I was just hoping that there would be something special between us. I did feel a connection, but I wasn’t at all sure whether he felt the same, and that was freaking me out.

I forgot about all the nice things he told me, and all I remembered was that I felt deeply for a rockstar that could replace me with any girl he wanted. My mind wondered whether he picked a girl like me on every gig, and whether he remembers all the promises he made to them.

All of a sudden I heard a quiet noise. Was that… was that a knock on my door? I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and decided to investigate. Then I heard the noise again. Yup, that was definitely a knock. _That’s so weird, I’m not expecting anyone_ …

I crept toward the door, trying my best to make as little noise as possible. I peeked through the peephole, and my jaw dropped. Behind the door was no one else but Robert, looking nervously from my apartment door to the next one. Then he knocked again, this time also calling “Y/N? Are you there?”

I was just about to open the door when I realised I was only wearing my pyjamas. Damn it! I didn’t know what to do. _Should I pretend I’m not at home? Should I ask him to wait a couple of minutes while I change?_

I panicked and paced up and down the hallway. Then I heard one more knock on the door and made my mind up.

“Yep, I’m here! I’ll get the door, just gimme a minute please!” I shouted, hoping he’d not be too discouraged by having to wait for so long. I quickly ran back to my room and opened the wardrobe. I pulled out the first t-shirt and jeans I found and put them on. I hurried towards the door while trying to make my hair look at least a bit normal.

“I’m coming!” I called when I got to the door, opening it. The sight of Robert was breathtaking. A small smile appeared on his lips upon seeing me, quickly replaced by a worried look when he noticed tear stains on my face.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?” he asked me in a concerned tone, knitting his eyebrows together.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want you to see me like this. I-I didn’t know you were coming and-“

“There’s absolutely no need to apologise,” he cut me off and looked me straight into the eyes. I saw genuine understanding and concern in his beautiful eyes, which made my heart ache a little.

“How about we go to the park? Might take your mind off whatever’s worrying you,” he said kindly after a moment.

“That… that’d be amazing,” I sighed and suddenly I had my arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him tightly. Robert didn’t hesitate for a second – he immediately hugged me back with the same intensity. Then I slowly unwrapped my hands and took a small step backwards, clearing my throat a bit.

“Sorry, I dunno how this happened…” I said awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck.

“What are you apologising for? You did absolutely nothing wrong,” he mumbled.

He then took my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine.

“Come, the park awaits us.”

***

The air was chilly, but the sun was shining and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Robert and I walked hand in hand, enjoying the sun rays, and I was gathering my courage to ask him the question I had been dreading. Yet I knew that I had to ask him to calm my mind.

“Robert?” I asked him, my voice trembling.

“Mhmm?” he gently squeezed my hand as if to motion me to continue.

“I’ve… I’ve been thinking… I need to ask you something…”

“Go ahead. What’s been troubling that beautiful head of yours?” he said kindly, yet in a serious way. I sighed. _I need to do this._

“I was just wondering… Is this, this thing we’re having… is it a relationship? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really enjoying just going on dates with you and everything, I just need to know.”

I didn’t dare to look at him at first – I was way too embarrassed. I was raised to expect this sort of questions from boys and not be the one asking them. Yet here we were, and I understood why girls prefer not to do it. I felt too vulnerable and really uncomfortable.

When I finally looked up, I was surprised to see a smirk on his face. Not something I was used to seeing on Robert’s lips. I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to explain that smirk of his. Instead he just shook his head, making his golden hair fly in all directions, and lit a cigarette. As hot as he looked with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, I wasn’t too fond of smoking. But I wasn’t in a position to try and talk him out of it yet, so I just frowned a bit and kept my mouth shut.

“Funny you’re asking, really. That’s actually something I wanted to ask you. You know… oh, Lord, this is harder than I thought,” he chuckled and then continued.

“Whether you’d like to be my girlfriend. I know we barely know each other, but… I like to know where I stand. We could get to know each other in the process. I hope you get what I mean,” he looked at me, as if looking straight into my soul. It took me a second to fully understand his words.

“Wait, are you serious?” I said, not believing what I had heard.

“Totally,” he nodded.

“I’d… I’d love to,” I beamed. How could I say no to this?

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he replied with that crooked smile of his, and I could feel my cheeks burning like fire.

We walked some more in the park, and I felt my worries fading away from my mind. Eventually we found a quiet spot and lied down on the grass. The sun was still shining through the leafless branches of the trees around us.

“And what’s gonna happen next?” I asked, lying in his arms on the cold ground.

“Are you going to have some rest from the tour?”

“Unfortunately not. We’ve still got a tour in Europe in a week’s time,” he sighed, hugging me even more tightly.

“Oh, right,” I said, disappointed. _How can we work on our relationship if he’s away on tour?_ But then, that’s the downside of dating a rockstar.

“But it won’t be too long? The tour, I mean. Will it be longer that this UK one?” I asked hopefully.

“It’ll be three weeks. What I’m gonna do with you, darling? It breaks my heart just thinking about leaving you here,” he whispered and then planted a small kiss on the top of my head.

I nuzzled up against him, enjoying his warmth.

“Three weeks are manageable. I’ll wait here for you. And will that be it for now? Will you be free for a bit after this tour?”

“Well, then there’s the US…” he said quietly. I looked up and saw him avoiding my eyes. I sat up, looking at him all puzzled.

“We’ll get a week before the US tour… still, I’d prefer having a longer break, but it’s not up to me to decide.”

I couldn’t say anything for a few moments. I found the Europe tour hard to swallow; the US one came like a sucker punch. However hard I found it though, I knew there was nothing I could do. He was free to do whatever he wanted, and performing was something he loved and was amazing at. I was also half-hoping he’d suggest I go with him, but I knew it was too soon. That could do more harm than good.

“I’ll wait here,” I said after a longer pause. I ran my fingers through his hair as I did so, earning a soft sigh.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright here alone?” he asked.

“If not, you could…” he started, but didn’t finish the sentence. A soft flush appeared on his cheeks.

“Yes, I’ll manage,” I breathed, squeezing his hand.

“I know these long tours are killers for a budding relationship, but I’m sure we can get through it if we try. We’ll get two months off after the US one and I’ll spend as much time as I can with you, Y/N, I promise,” he uttered, bringing his face close to mine, just for our noses to touch.

“I know you will,” I said, closing my eyes, fighting the thought of the upcoming weeks spent without him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert asked Y/N to be his gf (yay!) and she said yes!  
> A/N: A bit of angst at the beginning, but nothing too harsh :))

We never wanted to rush things; at least I didn’t. Dating Robert was the best thing that happened to me after a particularly difficult breakup that left me self-conscious and self-loathing. Robert was kind, amiable and always full of understanding, why my ex-boyfriend had always blamed me for our fights and made me feel unworthy of his love. He kept reminding me how he could have every girl he wanted, and that leaving him would be my biggest mistake; that I was nothing without him.

At the beginning of my relationship with Robert I was very anxious that he feels the same way about me as my ex did. What if he leaves me as soon as he realises that I’m worthless? Maybe my ex was right – every guy will realise that, sooner or later, I don’t deserve them.

My previous experience was probably the main reason why I was so cautious with Robert and did everything I could not to rush anything. I didn’t want him to grow tired of me, which is something I thought would happen if we progressed too quickly in our relationship.

Robert wasn’t always that patient, sometimes he was even a bit pushy, but that was understandable. He was a famous rockstar after all, and he wasn’t used to not getting everything he wanted at first try. He was accustomed to having groupies throwing themselves at him, crazy fans drooling over his untamed hair and shirtless torso. Dating a girl that found it hard to show too much affection and declined every move he made must’ve been quite a challenging experience. He was doing all he could to handle it, and he did really well despite the occasional annoyed sighs he thought I hadn’t noticed. Yet he was always very caring and romantic, and he promised me to wait, after all.

I was full of hope that Robert and this relationship will change me, and drive away the demons my ex left in my head.

During the week before the guys left for their European tour, Robert took me out on a date to a café not too far away from my apartment. Since he wasn’t living in the same city as I did, he had to travel a few miles to get to me, which had always made me feel guilty.

The change in the air was apparent. The days were becoming longer and sunnier, the nights were shorter and warmer. The day of our date showed the first signs of spring in the air, and Robert insisted we walk to the café. Him being so enthusiastic about the outdoors and able to appreciate the aesthetics of the seasons only added to his loveable personality, making it even harder to resist.

As we walked to the coffee place, we passed an old botanical garden that was popular mostly among older people living in the city. The benches near the entrance were always full of old couples reading books or doing crosswords and wearing huge woollen jacket. Robert, unsurprisingly, took no notice of that and started dragging me towards the big entrance gate.

“Y/N, look,” Robert beamed and pointed towards a sea of snowdrops under a big old tree.

“I’ve never seen so many of them on a single spot.”

He was looking so happy and at peace with the nature. I couldn’t fight the urge to kiss him in that moment, earning a few disgusted snorts from the old couples sitting nearby. But I couldn’t care less. The kiss was gentle at first, becoming more and more passionate with every passing second, taking Robert by surprise. He was standing there with his hands by his sides, but then he realised I meant it and his hands travelled to my waist. He started moving one of them slightly lower, but then one of the grans shouted “Utter disgrace!” and I broke the kiss. He didn’t open his eyes for a few seconds afterwards, and when he did, he gave me one of his looks again, and then squeezed my hand.

“Let’s go, we’ve got a date to go on.”

***

The café was a small and cozy place. I was scared we might run into some Led Zeppelin fans who wouldn’t leave us alone, but luckily everyone was too busy talking and smoking cigarettes. Robert took a pack out of his pocket when we sat down at our table.

“Would you like one?” he asked, showing me that packet of cigarettes. I frowned at him.

“No, thanks, I don’t smoke,” I said, without adding “and maybe neither should you”.

“That’s a wise decision. See, once you start smoking, it’s almost impossible to stop,” he said, already with a lit cigarette in his mouth as he breathed in deeply.

“Why did you start then?”

“Dunno. All of my friends smoked and it felt weird not to smoke. I didn’t want to be the odd one out. Plus, I like to think of it as my inspiration. I always feel more myself when I smoke. But now that I’ve got you, you can be my muse,” he looked at me dreamily.

“Seriously, Robert, when I think you can’t possibly give me a sweeter compliment, you come up with one,” I giggled, hiding my red cheeks. He smiled shyly and put my hands down from my face.

“You don’t have to hide your beautiful blush, Y/N. Not from me,” he said.

We stared at each other for a while, smiling like idiots.

“Robert?” I finally broke the silence.

“Yes, darling?”

“Tell me about the places you’ll visit on the tour.”

His eyes sparked with excitement. He took both of my hands into his and began telling me about those fantastic things he’d see, all the people he’d meet, and I listened to him with a smile on my lips, my heart breaking a bit with every thought of not being by his side.

My eyes glistened with tears by the end of his speech, but I fought hard to keep them at bay.

“I can’t wait to hear about everything when you get back.”


End file.
